"Now just relax," he said soothingly. "Nice deep breath, then let it out..."On Julia’s nervous exhale, Evan gripped the rigid shaft of his erection with both hands, leveraged his hips, and pressed the tip against her moist entry point, forcing her pussy to stretch and dilate far beyond what it was accustomed to. Julia winced, gritted her teeth, and clutched the bed sheets tightly with her fingers. For several moments, he could not gain a foothold. Like a jungle snake's first, seemingly futile attempts to swallow a prey far too big to pass through its own jaws, Julia's labia seemed unequal to the task of accommodating Evan's enormous cock. Even Evan, experienced as he was at difficult penetrations, grew concerned that he might not fit it inside her. He persevered, though, and aided by her natural wetness and his synthetic lubrication, her tightly stretched lips finally enveloped the massive crown."Oh my god!" she hissed through gritted teeth as Evan slowly worked his hips, edging. .”“I was driving along when I saw two kangaroos copulating in the middle of the road causing me to ejaculate through the sun roof.” (from an Australian claim form)“The accident happened because I had one eye on the lorry in front, one eye on the pedestrian and the other on the car behind.”“I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought.”“I pulled into a lay-by with smoke coming from under the hood. I realised the car was on fire so took my dog and smothered it with a blanket.”Q: Could either driver have done anything to avoid the accident?A: Travelled by bus?The claimant had collided with a cow. The questions and answers on the claim form were -Q: What warning was given by you?A: Horn.Q: What warning was given by the other party?A: Moo.“I started to turn and it was at this point I noticed a camel and an elephant tethered at the verge. This distraction caused me to lose concentration and hit a bollard.”“On approach to the traffic lights the car in front.
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